She tells me that despite the cards that life plays —sometimes challenging—, despite the family, the maternal role and the obstacles at work, the most demanding task is to accept oneself: “I am this that you see, in the process of transformation, of course, with the traces of maternity hospitals, of time, with the force of gravity that does not let go of us. And even so, a hymn to maturity is possible in these times of absolute youth.»

Because she started dancing "old" and her starting point, of inspiration, was the film by Carlos Saura with Cristina Hoyos and Antonio Gades: Bodas de sangre, of course. When open television, which only had four channels, broadcast the film: "Memories are not intellectual, they are still sensations, feelings," he tells me. She felt a deep longing for communication like that of "those body artists, putting into motion the tear, the passion, the desire, a tragic desire in that story", thus the need for expression, the curiosity, was awakened. Years later he found the opportunity very close to his first job, it was 1997 and, by chance, he saw at the headquarters of Casa de Galicia, on 18 de Julio and Barrios Amorín, that free flamenco classes were given, and as in that time the study could not be afforded, it was decided.

Thus, at the age of 25, she received, at the same time, her first work experience, an approach to flamenco and also contact with Chinese medicine (Analía is a therapist and was introduced to the knowledge of spiritual flamenco at Tian, a school of Chinese medicine in Spain : practice in which dance is investigated as a means of physical, mental and spiritual healing). At the same time, he tells me, a little jokingly and not so much, that he doesn't remember what he did before, perhaps only preparing for what was triggered later: the love affair with dance. Because, as he has assured me on several occasions, flamenco is the lover-refuge-challenge. He challenges her to look deeper, to look more accurately at the feelings that are encapsulated in everyday reality, because flamenco moves love, it doesn't leave us indifferent, it may like it more or less, but it never leaves us indifferent, she says. And it also exerts a powerful transmuting effect on those who sing it, those who play it on an instrument, those who dance to it, those who contemplate it: "It hits the chest, every pore, that effect is highly healing."

When I ask her about the space for great women in dance, adults, I mean, she tells me that she thinks precisely of that, of the greats: Paco de Lucía, Camarón de la Isla, Cristina Hoyos, Antonio Gades who influenced so much in the evolution of dance, in addition to the particular art that each one transmitted. He remembers when he had the opportunity to travel to Andalusia, to the very source of flamenco and "see anonymous octogenarians, with almost immortal features, dance from a delivery, from a position so played because it is not about virtuosity or demonstrating nothing, but to move the soul itself that dances through those wrinkled bodies where the signs of all life are seen.» Think of Cristina Hoyos, who is still active, after having gone through cancer and who, in turn, develops an awareness of healing through dance, which Analía fully shares.

Then he mentions the academies in general, in which the patterns of youth, low weight, slim line, resistance and strength and the inevitable sensual imprint are repeated. Recently in her last dance school, she shares classes with diverse classmates with a unique and unrepeatable body shape, she tells me, and this means that when she sees the dances of others, she feels moved or attracted by them. She is interested in contemplating women of her age because: «The older ones have life. Of course, everyone has stories to tell with their bodies, but they, 50-year-old women, are expressing maternity or lack of it, menopause, hormonal changes, longing, the search for love, or the experience of it, transitions, separations, changes of forced and unforeseen employment, and all this manifests itself at the moment of dancing.» And so he pays attention to how his classmates come to class, what they bring with them. She tells me how some have their romance with the mirror and the time it took her to look at herself without being a brutal judge, dance has helped her a lot with her shyness that does not appear with the naked eye but is there and tries to find her own gaze. He also talks to me about the importance of taking care of the body: "When your feet hurt, you have to pamper them", dedicate time so that the nails do not become ingrown, the calluses, the knees, the shoulders, elbows, wrists, the hands that express the dance.

And so it returns to the question: "What room is there for big women?" And it is answered: “Little, little”. That perhaps now, in his last four years of experience, he found a little room for a body like his; In its beginnings, it never found the stature in body and expression, because it was sought that they all express the same: «uniformizing and choreographing the feeling is something impossible and outside of what dance is as an expression of the soul».

He remembers the technical training of his first teacher, very hard, cruel, almost violent, for years he was close to the curtain, in the background in the presentations, almost imperceptible "because there was no place for me", only by sacrificing his body could he get closer to the model that was it exerts on the gaze of the one who directs and of the companions as well. And after motherhood, the change was important and perhaps it was the time of greatest suffering: large breasts from breastfeeding, a back that widens, the waist is lost, the hips widen more and the changing rooms always meant «covering, covering, covering , conceal». “We have a lot to learn —he says— about the pain we cause when imposing those canons or when we let them impose on us. And the awareness and liberation came from the hand of spiritual flamenco when he began to practice it. The first opportunity was in Spain, with a white sleeveless dress, her hair loose (which had always been "well tied, well held, well taut and with a lot of hair gel" and she had gray hair and rebellious gray hair, "they are like antennas" , He says). That first time was like being in another life.

I listen to her and I feel that I am not certain about what we will change with our stories, with our images on these pages. There are no certainties, but there are roots, they told me once, and perhaps the root is to build that other life, like this, in this way, listening to each other. Because the last time I went to work with Analía for this note, she told me, while looking for the right shawl for the photos, that when she jotted down ideas and recorded audio, she felt she had something to say, that her voice made sense. I smiled, because I was not surprised by the coincidence that is never such, and I told him that this was the title of this number and the first motivation we had for the magazine.